Follow A Lead......'Head Or Heart'

Beautiful People,

Severally, i've heard people say "use your head" and I wonder "why not use your heart?" or "follow your heart", still I think "why not follow your head?". If you're meant to use your head,are you not automatically suppose to follow it's lead and vice versa. 

When it comes to my everyday functional life, oh! My head is there but when it comes to my emotional affairs, thanks to the heart,i'm a fool for love.......lol

Today's secret is about the crazies that unfold when you follow your heart or choose not to use your head. (Enjoy)

                                                   

                                                                            OR

                                                            

"God bless the day I met my long time friend, one of my closest actually, we practically grew up together from our teenage days,been through thick and thin together (things u don't even wanna know) and we never had an issue we couldn't or didn't resolve come what may for many years or so it was until now (still hoping we can work this one out).

We were sisters from different parents and I love her as much if not more (lol,no homo). "What then is the problem? " you're probably wondering now. Don't be in a hurry friend ,i'm almost there......

                                         

Recently, she introduced me to a man she had been dating for over a month and I immediately liked him (for her) or so I thought initially. This cool dude reminded me of a crazy crush I once had and I told my friend as soon as I had that figured out. He went through the friend's first time screening and he more than passed in "my right kind of guy book",so, the admiration increased. We got really talking and I felt like we connected on a deeper level than we would like to admit and quickly afterwards, we kept our distance and focused on why he was here in the first place (his relationship with my friend) .

This damn heart always finds a way to bring two lusty hearts together, doesn't it?.....*sigh*

Soon,we got talking again and this time we couldn't pretend there wasn't some undercurrent running deep beneath the cool,calm and collected surface. We briefly addressed it then let go considering the fact that we were "that which should not happen". Who created the rules anyway?

We kept the communication line......(shikena) and the rest is history (you can chat me up for the history....lol, amebo!) and whatever I felt for him only got stronger and deeper but I never let it affect my sense of judgement when it came to advising my friend about her relationship as she constantly sort my opinion. 

                                        

Unfortunately, the things she complained about were the things that intrigued me about him (I never discussed their negatives with either of them separately, I honestly tried to make them work), so when she said that she was tired of his attitude and claimed that they had broken up,I asked her over and over what she wanted or if she wanted him back but she was tired and confused was all she said,i also felt that she was doing alright since she moved on pretty fine with the distractions or so she made me believe (a lot was going on to make me believe that she wasn't so into this guy in the 1st place,besides, girls talk about these things you know). So I thought to myself, not with the motive to hurt my friend "maybe we can finally give us a chance",we liked eachother and he also complained about them not understanding themselves the way that we do (I happened to understand them both considerably well).

So,i asked him like i've done a few times before in the heat of the moment, "what if I can talk to my friend about us? What if she can understand how I feel about you and decides that we can date?" "Oh! You really think that can happen? We will both be tagged bad,monsters etc. You will loose your friendship and I don't want to be responsible for that" he said.

I repeatedly battled with telling my friend from the onset despite the constant reassurance I gave myself that I could tell her anything and she would understand or that we will figure it out but oh mehn! I didn't want to loose my friend neither was I ready to let go of my new found affection without knowing that I tried to make it last a little while longer (hmmm).

Suddenly, my honourable friend's now ex boyfriend advised me to tell my friend about us because I at least owe her that and I wondered why the drastic change of opinion. I went on with the flow since i'll rather tell her anyway than have her find out any other way. So,i buzzed her a few days later after consulting the opinion of a few and the surprise I got wasn't just her reaction to the news but what happened next............

                                                                                                                                                            (To Be Continued) 

Help! I'm Married To A Nympho'

Hi You, 
Why a lot of people do not like issues like this discussed or addressed still baffle me. For crying out loud,what's the big deal? Of course, it's a big deal because it is an abnormality but how we stigmatise or refer to a nymphomaniac mostly with disgust is both sickening and appalling. Don't mean to be judgmental but I personally think a man should be grateful if he's married to a nymphomaniac, it just means that he'll get to have so much sex that cheating will become impossible for him. Lol.............dude,don't you agree with me? I bet some of you share my opinion (there is a big smile on my face right now).
You already know what "Nymphomania " is as an efiwe that you are, but for the sake of the few who have probably never heard the word,let me help you with at least a dictionary meaning. Nymphomania refers to uncontrollable or abnormally strong sexual desire in a woman. It can also be called hypersexuality or compulsive sexual behavior. I'm not here to lecture you o so,pls contact google for more information.*wink*

Today's DLS is about a man who got married to this beautiful young woman and after a few years together, he met another woman whom he claimed to have fallen in love with and when asked why he has decided to break his marriage vows, his excuse was that he was tired of being with his wife who is a Nympho. *eyesrolling*
How is that even an excuse to cheat? Isn't that a reason for him to be satisfied? So I thought out loud as I was given the gist.
The lady he was asking out,happened to know his wife who she said is as beautiful has ever even after four kids and has no past history of waywardness since she had known her, therefore she found the news hard to believe and insisted that she would have nothing to do with him especially since she was in a committed relationship and was a sexually active person herself though not abnormally. 

This is the 3rd time i've heard men make excuses about their spouse being a nympho to either dump them or cheat on them. I've even heard about a young lady that was gang raped by a group of friends in my University days in the name of wanting to know her limit as she was tagged 'Nympho'.
Nymphomania is not an incurable disorder. So, men should please stop making unreasonable excuses to be irresponsible. The only help you need is to help your spouse. Sorry if it looks like i'm taking sides today, I know I can sometimes appear to be a feminist to the core. Don't get me wrong,i feel your pain if your cap hurts and it's understandable that we get scared sometimes and want to run away but how will you feel if you were to be in her shoes. I can't ask you not to run or find an escape route, all i'm saying is reconsider helping the Nympho you're married to.

A lot of men don't even know how to make love to a woman and when they can't satisfy one,they fail to acknowledge the fact that they are incapable. Guess I should take this opportunity to inform you that women are different and require different/various skills to meet their individual needs. Maybe you aren't doing the right thing yet,find out what will work for your spouse sexual needs and get it done. Not all tagged nymphos are actually having a disorder.

Married To A PIMP

Hi You,
Here is today's DLS.........

"Growing up at some point during my early childhood in a ghetto where I felt displaced,out shinning almost every other kid, watching and listening to teenagers and adults around me act and speak like "American wannabes",it took me yester' years to know what the word PIMP really meant. Back then for me,it was a fancy word that meant enhancing something or someone's outlook. I heard people say things like "let me pimp you", "i'm going to pimp my car" etc and to crown my non dictionary definition, a "Pimp My Ride Show " surfaced on TV on the long run, so I embraced my assumed definition (slang) of the word until my curiosity drove me to check for the dictionary meaning ..........i bet you're expecting me to help you with a definition right now,sorry to disappoint you dear,please use your dictionary..........*tongue out* lol

That said, I met my husband a few years ago and I knew him to have a lot of female friends. Some he occasionally slept with and a few he had as his regular babes. I happened to be one of his regulars but knew there were others just has they knew I existed. Let the challenge begin or so I saw it as we all played the game of winning position number one whether consciously or uncousiously. (lol)

Soon,i was number one and it almost felt like I won a lottery not knowing that I had just lost a few of my precious years to hell itself. You know how we ignorantly fight for what we do not need all in the name of having the last laugh? That was my case. I wanted the impossible, wanted a mirage for reality, told myself the devil was just a fallen angel and constantly reminded myself that the angel in him should be my focus, so hell became my heaven and it took me years to finally come to terms with what he really was no matter how hard I tried not to see.........he was a man who had no integrity and will do almost anything for money, maybe pimp his spouse if he thinks she would dance to the tune amongst other things, but we were already married before it finally dawned on me.
Once as his girlfriend, I remember been pimped to a man who sent some money and I wouldn't have known if the man had not requested to speak with me via phone call, I played along wanting to please my man until he collected the money and I didn't worry about it since I didn't have to see the man and it was a one time thing that wasn't a part of him he assured me, but soon I found out he had done the same with some of his previous girlfriends. (we sometimes do these stupid things in the name of love) *eyesrolling*

I started having issues with him majorly when he couldn't keep his whores from the home front,he kept too many photos of different girls,some he chatted with till late  nights and I wondered if he was sleeping with them and it came both as a relief and a shock when he told me he pimps them. I was relieved that the worst of my fears had not come through but shocked that he would sell out these gorgeous ladies to men for short term sex while he gets his percentage. It was then I thought about his history with ex girlfriends and I knew for sure that this man will not hesitate to pimp me 
should things ever get very financially ugly and that was his last resort. A man who can advertise you as a sex object to another man for money is as good as a man who uses women for money rituals. We fell apart eventually as a lot of things had been faulty from the onset of the relationship but one kind of man that will never have my attention again is the PIMP."